11/05/08

Writing a Eulogy

GIVING A EULOGY-SOME HELPFUL TIPS and GUIDELINES*

IMPORTANT RULE

Tell the truth, but perhaps not the whole truth, if it might be embarrassing---don't abuse the forum!

WRITING TIPS

-Use straightforward language

-5-10 minutes in length

-Write like you sound and speak

-Use your own words - be natural

SPEAKING TIPS

-Breathe deep

-Speak up, don't mumble

-Speak to the back row

-Slow down

-Practice, Review, Practice, Review, Practice, Review

INFORMATION GATHERING-FEELINGS and MEMORIES

-Ask friends and relatives for information and memories

-Ask how people came to know the deceased

-Ask other eulogists what they will speak on

-Ask people about their feelings

-Find out about positive character traits

QUOTES AND BORROWED MATERIAL

-Sparingly borrow inspirational material from other sources (poems, songs, literature)

-Be sure the material helps others better understand the deceased

TYPICAL SIX-STEP FORMAT

1-Introduce yourself

2-Give your name and how you knew the deceased

3-Relate a short history of your relationship with the deceased

4-Tell two stories; include facts and feelings

5-Include what you will remember most about the deceased

6-Briefly conclude with an expression of how you and others will feel

GET CORRECT FACTS-DOUBLE CHECK DETAILS

Name, Age

Hometown

Nickname

Marriage date, spouse name, place

Children, step-children, grandchildren, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends

Military Service/Volunteer record

Interests/Hobbies/Organizations

Work History

STORIES

-Tell about things to help people better know the deceased

-Tie facts to stories

-Use the best, but no more than two

-Don't duplicate with another speaker

-Positive stories, not embarrassing

-Include feelings - how you and others feel, and why?

*Adapted from "Goodnight, Sweet Prince: You Can Give a Eulogy" by William Schmidt, c. 1996